i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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