You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
