if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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