The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
