Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
