I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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