I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
