I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize