That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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