I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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