Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
