I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
