Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
