I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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