that's an acceptable place to lick
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
