Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
