nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
