Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
