If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
