Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
