If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
