Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
