A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My pussy is not your playground.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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