11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
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I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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