Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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