you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
