Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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