You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
