I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize