Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
