operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
