My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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