Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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