I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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