I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
