This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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