Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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