It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
