i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
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