I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
