exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
