I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
