I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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