My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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