Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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