Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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