You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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