i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
