if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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