I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you never un-have a 4some
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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