just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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