walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Oh god it's open bar.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
