first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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