Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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