I feel like abortions should bother me more
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
