Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
