Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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