My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
