so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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