Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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