I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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