took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
