Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize