K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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