You can't motorboat a personality
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
