we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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